THE TRUTH ABOUT POSTPARTUM BODY

BODY POSITIVITY: MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BODY

By far, this has been the hardest blog post to write because it forces me to come to terms with a truth that I have been shrugging for the last three months. It was hard for me to take these images. Documenting a body that I don’t feel all too comfortable with. Work out gear is just not flattering. This is something that I had to say and had to do.

Three months ago my beautiful daughter was born, and while being pregnant with her, I never wanted my picture to be taken.

Now if you know me, this is a very odd thing to hear. Leading to my pregnancy, I liked having my picture taken, creating content and putting looks together. I had a good understanding of my body when it came to posing, and getting dressed. I knew what worked and how I would look in a certain outfit. There was this I had confidence in my body and my curves.

Once I started showing, and my face and body began to change – horrid thoughts started creeping in and shook my confidence. I hated having a camera on me and seeing my chubby face in photographs. I no longer felt like myself, and I had no idea how to dress or present myself – something I was so good at before.

Having such low self-esteem was something I did not expect during my pregnancy.

WHEN THE FLIP SWITCHED

My baby was born. Layla was here and I just felt in awe of this miracle my body created. All the bad thoughts I had before were worth it because my body was home to such a beautiful gift.

And then…

Postpartum hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew my body wouldn’t go back to normal immediately but my self-esteem was at an all-time low once the pain and euphoria of giving birth wore off. All I wanted was to put on my favourite pair of jeans and feel like myself again.  I tried dressing like a did before and nothing looked right on me.

Walking past my full-length mirror made me cringe and I felt super embarrassed to get dressed or be naked in front of my husband. My stretch marks were dark and prominent and my belly skin was loose and flabby. I felt so ashamed and disgusted even though I knew my body just produced a child – I couldn’t give myself the time to heal. I just went to the “my body is gross” place.

GETTING TO THAT POSITIVE PLACE

How do I love my body again? How do improve how I see myself? I had to switch my thoughts and place my self-worth onto something concrete. What might that be?

Well, it is simple. My Little Girl. I want to love myself so that I can love her and that way one day she will know how to love herself too.

I also need to make peace with that which I can’t change. Yes, my hips are wider now but I can become fitter, eat better and live healthier.

Having a positive relationship with my body is not only for me, my self-worth and my sanity but it is also my daughter, my sisters-in-law, my cousins, my aunts, my mother and any wonderful females I surround myself with. Oh and also my loving husband because he deserves a woman that loves herself.

I had to give myself grace and embrace my new routine, living each day looking at myself in the mirror and saying “Damn, you are one fine mama” – making sure I love on myself every day. And you, reading this post, I want it to make you love yourself more.

Gabriella 'Luna' Jaftha

Hi, I am Content Creator - Gabriella Jazzmin Jaftha, but you can call me Luna. Welcome to my blog all about fashion, beauty and lifestyle. I am a mom to Layla Hunter and a wife to Emmanuel Jaftha. Here is where I share life lessons, beauty tips and fashion advice.

8 Comments
  1. This post blew my mind! Thank you so much for sharing your story, can only imagine how difficult it must have been to admit to a feeling that most new or old mummies and mummies-to-be (like me) feel all the time. Your courage is admirable!

    1. I have been trying to work out and get to a better place with my body but I haven’t had much success with it because my mind isn’t in the right space. I think talking about this not only helps others but helps me too. We need to cut ourselves some slack once and a while and just love on ourselves. Really happy this has encouraged you. Enjoy your pregnancy and the beautiful gift you will get at the end of it.

  2. This is truelly so raw. Thank you for being so Fearless, you are an inspiration to many of us.
    You’re Beautiful inside and out babe.

    1. Thank you friend! Feels good to get all the bad juju out of my mind so I can finally focus on improving my health.

  3. Love this post!!!! Your body created a miracle…over 9 months. It’s normal to have those feelings about your new soft body…I know I did. I can remember how people asked me about my due date after my daughter’s birth and how ashamed I felt about my body. But it dawned on me that it took me 9 months to get to the perfect shape to carry my princess…so I did not have to justify my new soft body to anyone…and it will take some time to return to a slender you…an even better shape you’ll fall in love with. One day at a time.

    1. Thank you so much. I really appreciate the kind words and I am getting to that positive place. Thank you for reading!

  4. What a flippen brave post!!!!!!!!! I can relate on a gazillion levels. And you’re right – our bodies are masterfully created to actually carry and birth a whole life. We should be proud of it! Thank you for this post.

    1. Its insane, how we lose sight
      of what we are actually doing when we are pregnant. It so easy to go to that place of just being mean to ourselves. Thank you so much for reading!

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